Up/Down

...if you want to walk in them with me.To struggle with your brain every day for control of your mind is not pretty, and despite what many people seem to believe, does not mean you're weak: it takes a strong heart to face day after day of deciding whether or not you'll survive yourself another day.And don't even bother suggesting someone with a mood disorder just needs to get a grip, and compare how good their life is to someone else's in a war-torn, 3rd world country: it's already been considered, and only underscores the sense of being a worthless human being, one who's existence is only a burden, and one who's absence will only bring sighs of relief.Yes, this film is flawed.No, it isn't perfect.Yeah, it's stark, and for some uncomfortable being so up-close-and-personal with the interviewees...But at least this filmmaker is trying very hard to give people with this mood disorder a voice that can carry to many people they'll never meet, and to allow those, who care enough, a small glimpse into what life is like in a mind that even the person who owns it can't always trust.Thank you to everyone, on both sides of the camera - today you helped me get through one more day.THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2013 - UPDATEI've just read Jane Alexander's thoughtful review of this film ("Born with a chemical imbalance? Umm..., February 17, 2013"). Now that I have a bit more time, I'd like to comment on some of the points she makes; for the most part they're related to my comments about the film being flawed and imperfect.Since below is a fairly extensive treatise, let me offer up front a book recommendation that might help anyone having a difficult time with the more "woo woo" kind of stuff like meditation, and who needs some science behind mind-body practices before seriously considering them intriguing enough to investigate (my hand went up immediately).This book highlights the scientific study of neuroplasticity, which distinguishes the mind from the brain; read the reviews rather than just taking my word for it that it's something worth exploring: The Mind and the Brain: Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force  by Jeffrey Schwatrz and Sharon BegleyCAVEATS:1. I can't even BEGIN to touch the experience(s) Jane has had in her own struggle with mental illness. Also, please note that I am NOT a doctor, and NOT an expert, merely someone that was diagnosed late in life (49) with bipolar NOS. I'm now 54, so I've contended with being mentally ill for 40-45 years, the majority of those years untreated, with me struggling to understand what in the bleep was going on with me, and why I seemed so different from many of the people around me.2. Before writing this I checked out Jane's book on Amazon, and also went to [...] to see more in depth information about her story to hopefully gain a better understanding as to what her comments might be grounded in.COMMENTS:1. CHEMICAL IMBALANCE - MAJOR FILM FLAW: I've long believed this to be an overly simplistic explanation as the cause of Bipolar. (I can't and won't speak to any other mental illness, although I know schizoaffective disorder, and possibly autism, are posited as being in some way related to bipolar.)One of the more current and popular theories being bandied about hypothesizes that people are born with a genetic susceptibility (Jane's right - yet to be proven), and that the illness might not manifest if one is lucky, but if environment and/or personal experience causes undue stress or trauma, the bipolar switch will most likely get turned "on".In all honesty, I'm one who believes there's a real possibility of a genetic link: I come from a long line of people who've been diagnosed with or appear to have a mental illness. My family has a fair amount of suicide/suicide attempts (including my own) and alcoholism - I believe many people with mental illnesses often attempt to self medicate. I accept that there might be family values and beliefs at play which could at least partially explain the hand-me-down crazy, including how to rear children, but we seem to have an awful lot of tortured souls within the three generations I'm most familiar with.2. PSYCHIATRY/PSYCHIATRIC MEDICATION AS TREATMENT: While Jane doesn't really address this large topic in her review, except in her comments about lithium, she does address it on the possessingme.com website wherein she shares her experience with the use of psychiatric medications and how they've failed her. However, she also states that she is NOT antipsychiatry nor antidrug as long as the person who'll be taking them is an adult that is doing so with informed consent. I agree with her that children and teenagers should not be coerced into taking them.Today most doctors in the U.S. are in specialty fields (due to a very specific set of reasons), and many psychiatrists operate as psychopharmacologists, leaving the talk therapy to psychologists and others trained in human behavior. The two behavioral therapies I'm most familiar with are CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and DBT (dialectrical behavior therapy - incorporates mindfulness practices). I believe many people suffering from mental illness could benefit as much, if not more, from these two therapies in particular, and probably from others I'm unfamiliar with. In fact, I don't believe most people with mental illnesses achieve much relief from drugs alone.I haven't still 100% given up hope that I'll find medication that will help in conjunction with talk therapy and mind-body therapies, but, as Jane discusses on possessingme.com, the side effects are all too often horrendous, with many medications causing permanent neurological damage, and some possibly having even deadly consequences. To date I've not been able to tolerate the side effects of the myriad of medications I've tried, which can be beyond frustrating if the drug seems to be helping me. (There are also some drugs I refuse to take.).I got the impression that two of the men interviewed in this film are heavily medicated because it appears they're displaying a "flat affect" (an inability to feel and/or exhibit emotions). This is a common effect of lithium - I experienced it myself - and it is heart wrenchingly sad to see. One of the other male interviewees has decided to go off all medication, and I empathize with his reasons for doing so, even though he does still seem to be suffering.3. MIND-BODY DISCIPLINES AS TREATMENT - IMPERFECT FILM REFLECTION: It's unfortunate that the one person in the film who speaks to this type of therapy ("...the woman with the anchor tattoo who claimed to practice yoga and meditation...") doesn't seem to have had much relief (if any at all) from yoga and/or meditation, but I suspect she's doing most of this on her own. My belief is that much as stroke victims benefit greatly from having speech therapists guide them through relearning to speak, mind-body disciplines are more likely to have a positive, long lasting impact when newbies initially receive substantial guidance from an experienced practitioner. I've very recently begun learning and trying to incorporate mindfulness into my life, and I know my attempts to do so on my own don't compare with how much better I do with regular reinforcement and guidance.4. "AMERICAN CULTURE AFFECT DISORDER" (PER JANE): "After watching this movie, I am now convinced more than ever, that what is called "bipolar disorder" these days, is really "American Culture Affect Disorder", which comes from our (fast-paced, stressed-out) Westernized lives, and how disconnected from our inner worlds so many people seem to be in this day and age (and culture)."While I strongly agree that the "fast-paced, stressed-out" lives many of us lead is a major contributor to the severity and seeming prevalence of mental illness, I think this statement is almost as simplistic as blaming a "chemical imbalance" for these ills. In all likelihood, the real mechanisms behind mental illness will eventually prove too complex for most people's patience in learning about (let alone dealing with) bipolar; the "chemical imbalance" story has long been a form of a quick and dirty explanation most average people, including patients, are willing to hear, stop, think, and at least sort of grasp. (Personally I'd prefer the "brain disorder" title for an explanation, but I wasn't there when the phenomena was named.)Jane: "One thing that struck me about all the interviewed bipolar sufferers, was how none of them, had any insight into their behavior or thoughts, at all. They all acted like they were victims of the winds of bipolar. This seeming helplessness to be able to effect their own inner affect, comes from not understanding yourself and your inner landscape, plain and simple."If I remember correctly, we don't hear the questions being posed every single time one of the people interviewed speaks, and we don't know if this or other factors might have influenced what the subjects shared. We also don't know what was edited out before the film was finalized.My impression is that the main objective and emphasis of the film is on revealing to those who don't have bipolar what it feels to be in a bipolar manic or depressive state, and it's during such times people often do express feelings of being a helpless victim. I do believe that a great number of people diagnosed as bipolar don't have the best understanding of the illness, but if these individuals are describing initial events in their lives, events prior to being diagnosed, or events in the early years after being diagnosed, it does seem natural that the film be colored by the helpless victim feel, and it is.I don't know the complete set of questions Kyle posed, or his criteria for choosing the people interviewed (he's the fairly young guy that's director and the interviewee in a hat), but it seems to me many of them (not all) are still learning how to contend with the distorted thought processes they're embroiled in. There are stages one has to go through in order to achieve the insight necessary to effect a different way of "being"; it can take a long time to work through these stages, and there's no common timeline to wellness.Some of us will find our way to being content and even happy, and others will remain devastatingly miserable, a danger to themselves.Becoming well isn't an easy task - it takes great perseverance and courage - and I think it's most often the result of an individual's capacity to be patient, take in, analyze, and understand pertinent information so as to apply it internally with insight and success.I've as yet been unable to motivate myself enough into incorporating yoga into my life, but "namaste" anyway...

Never finished... Reason? Not because of the dvd, BUT - for the women here reading this, I want you to be aware if you haven't heard or know much about this.. BUT - DO you all realize how unbelievably misdiagnosed LOTS of women are for this when really it's PMDD ??? Welp, I can most definitely say I am one of them. PMDD - Is a hormonal issue that mimics all characteristics of a bipolar person or heck, many other mental illnesses for that matter!!!! OK, so.. Basically, i've realized and started to see the patterns in these last two years of 20 some years of dealing with a messed up life. I put an app on my cell phone that keeps track of your monthly cycle and symptoms. After about 2-3 months of keeping up with all it asks, It is VERY accurate and I did my research on the pattern and came to conclusion that i've been dealing with PMDD, Why? Because the same symptoms of a bipolar person only shows up right BEFORE your monthly period, AND DURING!!! Afterwards? Im GREAT, MYSELF!!!! That gives me just one week of relief! HOW JACKED UP !!!! Also, download a moon cycle app aswell to keep up with the phases of the new and full moon, sounds crazy? Well, do your research, I promise it's NOT!!! I have both apps on my cell and can tell you the last two years of studying this condition and many doctors and watching how my awful mood and bodily symptoms occur exactly 14 days before my period occurs. IT SUCKS!!!!! I am scheduled for a hysterectomy as that's been my personal final solution to being FREE again!!! BUT!!! DO NOT DESPAIR !!!! - as the saying goes - everybody is different and reacts differently to other methods of treatment. Unfortunately for me, I've exhausted all possible alternatives. ( Jacked up !) Trust me on this one, If you find yourself here wanting to read up on this condition, think more into PMDD (if for a female) too many go diagnosed incorrectly. There is hormonal therapy you could try, some people are good with any form of birth control to help, another is SSRI's (antidepressants) there's also a all natural fruit extract that I hear works for many called CHASTEBERRY FRUIT, check that out too. ( yup, here on amazon you can find it! ) BUT - most importantly, do your research first of course, keep a log on paper or your cell, and mark the dates and anything relevant when you start your period. See if that's it, because I will tell you, if a doctor just chops it up to bipolar disorder , your highly likely to be put on a mood stabilizer plus antidepressants and God knows what else, those are the pills that really are killing people! Those pills turn you into a zombie and or make your symptoms during that time flare up 10x worse as in your mental state! ( forgot to mention.. about taking antidepressants for PMDD- you do not take every day, just those days ahead and during your monthly cycle! ) Hope this helps many people by reading this!!!!! God Bless and Best of Luck to you all and prayers for a happy future : )

Best movie to help friends and family, who are skeptical about bipolar. It's an eye opener. It's helped all my friends and family be so much more supportive.

This is an older documentary, but one of the few I’ve seen that is spot on. I’ve been living with bipolar II most of my adult life. The people interviewed were describing how I feel on so many levels. Highly recommend. Had to pay a $4 rental fee, but it was worth it. Great for people who live with bipolar, and/or those who want to understand the disorder better. This doc should be required viewing in psychology classes/studies. Very well done. Thank you to the filmmakers. You’re helping to remove the stigma.

I'm a neuroscientist researching bipolar and have a close family member with the disorder.This documentary does a *terrific* job telling us about BP from the mouths of both those afflicted and those close to them. Some of the personal stories and insights are quite profound, and some of those interviewed really hit the nail on the head with their descriptions and metaphors. I really recommend watching this.The only reason I'm not giving this 5 stars is because it slights the doctors involved. It's only the first 5 or so minutes of the film (you'll see what I mean), but why even bother interviewing professionals (psychiatrists, psychologists, clinicians) and then never let us hear them speak? I understand that the main point of the film isn't about them, but to overlay a very dry clinical narrative over their silent talking heads felt pointless and insulting.Anyway, I don't want to end on a negative note. Overall it's fantastic work and those interviewed should be applauded for their bravery, both on and off camera.