My Guy: A Gay Man's Guide to a Lasting Relationship Paperback – June 1, 2002

it helps you out to love yourself and to learn that you have to be also atractive to find a guy, is not all about the other guy. or sitting thinking why doesnt he like me.

horribly prejudice judgmental book, save your money

At this present time I don not have anything additional to write baout this product. I am enjoying it grealty!

Overall, it's an OK book, a little flat in its inspiration. I see this book as one that is more for someone who's been out and has been around the block a little, something to provide a little hope for guys like me in their late 30's who are just plum ready to settle down.It's great that the author outlines some basic do's and don't's but a lot of the information is common sense or at least you hope it would be. That there is more than one potential mate out there that could provide you a good relationship is something I am glad he included in his book. It's the best thing I have learned since coming out; I have learned that I can cast a much wider net because I have been out and I have life experience and relationship experience now. This I learned all on my own and while it's great he puts it in a book, it's one of these things that you have to experience and learn. A lot of what he describes in the book comes from experience so I'm not too sure how this would be helpful to someone young or just coming out. Readers should take this book as friendly advice, nothing more or nothing less. Experience will provide you with many more answers to your own questions.Mr. Kantor clearly believes that monogamy is the only way so I sort of felt that he wrote this book in a vacuum (for example, he refers to getting tested as AIDS testing when it's much more accurate and appropriate to call it HIV testing). I myself strongly believe in monogamy but in reality, open relationships work for some couples.Despite my flat response to this book, it's nice to hear someone else say that a loving, committed, monogamous relationship is possible and something that a lot of couples do attain. Men like me need to hear it more because we don't hear it enough.

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I became interested in this book after seeing someone reading it. I was waiting to see a broadway show and watched a fellow write a love note to his true love, who happened to be a co-star of the show for which I was waiting. When not scribbing notes to his beloved on notepaper, this young guy was readiing "My Guy" for inspiration. I am as big a fan of "Too Close for Confort" as the next guy, so I understand the excitment, but... having viewed what can best be decribed as a nutso stalker who carried "My Guy" around like the nutso fundamentalists carry around the bible, it became apparent that this little self-help book has its limits.The are limits to who you can have as a lover. One could take all the feel-good stuff from this book, utilize it, and it is still true. You can't have ANYONE.. ultimately it is another person's choice to enter into a relationship with you, or not. That cannot be earned. It is rarely deserved. It is some other individual's choice, over which anyone else has precious little control.That said, there are some good points made by this book. While you cannot dictate who will be intrerested in having a relationship with you (take it from one who has tried), you can make yourself understand that you deserve someone who will be honest and fair with you in a relationship. The remedy if he is not honest or fair is that you move on, not that he becomes fixed to your specificiations.Gay dating is complicated-- just like het dating is-- and at least, if not more, understood. The questions and answers provided in "My Guy" are the beginning, and only that for persons who are mature, understanding, and accepting.This book is worthwhile for novice daters only (for reasons pointed out by other reviewers). It is also only for readers who are insecure enought not to know that they are entitled to respect and equality..

A worthy book-unflinching but also competent and caring. Kantor affirms that a relationship has many values, then offers a nine-step guide to ready oneself toward gaining it. His candid insider's view of the gay male "scene" (and psyche) incisively presents much "dirty laundry," but only the better to wash it clean.Effective? Well, he does as much as printed words can to help any gay man who is already together enough potentially to be capable of these self-improvements on his own without formal therapy. To such candidates he issues gentle wake-up calls away from general immaturity of self, and ineffectiveness in seeking a man. Become your better self for your hoped-for "better half." (Only hope that the man you seek has also already read this book-or didn't have to...)We have here considerable craftiness-not bad manipulation, just a laser-radar for finding gay men virtually everywhere. We have mature strategy and tactics. We don't have to be doormats to the other person, but we do need to be flexible, and descend from the many "high horses" which human flesh, men especially, and gay men also, are heir to. (Or as he says, balance between being "a shy shrinking violet and an intrusive Venus flytrap.")So Kantor's subtle, complex, both-and view (present in his other books also) counsels balance. He says act happy but not euphoric. Be calm but not withdrawn. Be assertive but not pushy. And more.Oh, and all of it seasoned with frequent (and relevant) fine flashes of the best Jewish-mother wry wit, too. Seasoned wisdom here.

After you read your "coming out" book, this is the next book you should read. I must say that it has excellent advice on dealing with your inner expectations and ideals - reality checks, etc. The book is an awesome read, serious, and easy to understand. Prince Charming is out there! This book will help you get started. I do agree that this book is more for the beginner, and for those looking for serious relationships.