Help Me Live, Revised: 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know

the first edition of this book was terrific. the new version, which adds information from a recent survey that lori hope conducted, is even better. i work with cancer patients and this is my go-to book. i order a half dozen copies at a time and hand them out to everyone. it does a better job of identifying and working through emotional issues related to cancer than any other book in the field. one thing i particularly like about the book is the way it is organized. the "20 things" that people should know about the cancer patient are in separate chapters. so, if you are the patient and you want to read through the book, you can pick it up and read about one topic at a time (which is as much as one can read while going through treatment). also, while the book is directed toward friends/family/caregivers -- as in the cancer patient saying to others "these are the 20 things i want you to know" -- it is just as useful a tool for the patient as is is for the circle of loved ones. if you are a cancer patient and something is really rubbing the wrong way -- and it will -- you can flip through this book, find the topic, and lori will help you articulate the words behind that feeling that you're having. it kind of helps the cancer patient to develop his/her voice. lori also writes a blog which is widely followed, and is a highly-regarded and much loved figure in the cancer community. wonderful book from an extraordinary woman.

This book is an easy read, but what I like most is it helps direct communication with the cancer patient and is also informative based on real patient responses gathered through research. Helps with what to and what NOT to say to cancer patients. I gave it to my daughter during her i ritual phase of treatment after reading it myself. It was validating for her to read. Definitely recommend.

With cancer so wide-spread in our society it's helpful having a guidebook for what NOT to say to someone with the disease. According to this book, many of the commonly-offered sentiments people without cancer say to convey their caring & concern aren't necessarily helpful. This book offers a view from the patient side, & explains how to avoid misunderstandings & negative feelings.

This was an awesome book that helped me care for my best friend. Quick read with great tips.

Literally one of the most helpful books I have ever read. Great for anyone dealing with illness in a loved one, friend or coworker. My friends husband was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer at 37 and passed 18 months later. She received the book as a gift. After she read it she asked all of us to read it. It was so helpful. You feel like you want to help but you don't know how. You don't know what to say. You don't know what to ask. You don't know what to talk about. You don't know how to act. This book was incredibly helpful in giving direction in all of those areas and with navigating our relationship with our dying friend and his wife. It applies to illness beyond cancer. If you are dealing with a.loved one with a different type of illness I think it still would be very helpful. I have recommended it to several people and bought additional copies for people as well

I'm a cancer patient and I bought this book to help me be specific when others ask me how they can help. Although there are some great little gems in the book, in general, I found it too depressing to continue reading. I read about half of it, maybe a bit more, but just had to put it down. As a patient, I struggled with the meant-to-be inspiring examples of people who had survived cancer multiple times. I found this book was instilling fear in me rather than hope. Maybe for friends and family it would be helpful, but as a patient I wouldn't recommend it. Sorry. I hope you or your loved ones heal well and quickly, once and for all.

As a three time survivor of oral cancer, I've read lots of cancer advice books, but this one is the best. it's exactly the book that I wanted to write but she beat me to it.. It is especially poignant that the author, Lori Hope has now died in September 2012 when her cancer came back. She mentions her struggle in the new revised edition, but the book ends on a hopeful note that unfortunately did not work out for her. Still, her insights into what to say and do and what not to say and do are universal for all types of cancer. If anyone you know has cancer, buy this book and read it so you do not inadvertently mean well but do or say the wrong unhelpful thing. Just the table of contents tells you the basic rules. I just wish I had found this book when I was first diagnosed so I could have bought multiple copies and passed them out to everyone.

I purchased this book for my cancer-stricken friend and wanted to know its content before it became her birthday present. I liked the direct approach, the quotes of actual patients and I realized regardless how well I am educated and how much I care, I have made many mistakes in the past interacting with my cancer victims, always meaning well. It is a book everyone should read. Cancer patients need to educate their friends and families by telling them what they need or don't. Sooner or later we deal with this subject anyway and we will be grateful when we know what to say or do. Professionals should read this book before they treat their cancer patients. Uplifting and real. Great job!

As a parent of a cancer patient, it has been very difficult to see things through my daughter's eyes and from her point of view. This book is helping me to be a better parent and support when and HOW she needs me the most. I highly recommend it.

this was a thought provoking book, i bought it when i found out my mum had cancer unfortunately she died two weeks later but the book revealed a lot and will help me in any future experiences

Very useful book but if you use your common sense, you do not need it. Kind words and support are what your friend with cancer needs. They are the same person regardless of this disease

Good book to read when you want know more on the subject. Not too bulky and helps family members too.