Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, Book Cover May Vary

I picked up Codependent No More hoping to better understand my role in difficult relationships, and it ended up offering far more clarity than I expected. From the very beginning, I felt like the book was speaking directly to me. It did not just define codependency in abstract terms it helped me recognize my own behaviors, reactions, and emotional patterns in a way that was both eye-opening and, at times, humbling. What made the biggest impact on me was the shift in focus. Instead of concentrating on how to help or change someone struggling with addiction, the book consistently brought me back to myself my boundaries, my choices, and my responsibility for my own well-being. That perspective felt empowering. I began to understand how often I had been overextending, overthinking, and tying my emotional state to someone else’s actions. Compared to Beyond Addiction, which I also found valuable for its practical communication tools and emphasis on calm, supportive dialogue, this book went deeper on a personal level. Where Beyond Addiction helped me improve how I interact with others, Codependent No More helped me understand why I respond the way I do in the first place. I also appreciated how practical the guidance felt. It was not just theory, it encouraged small but meaningful changes, like learning to detach with care, letting go of control, and developing healthier emotional boundaries. Writing is straightforward and relatable, which makes it easier to absorb and reflect on without feeling overwhelmed. By the end, I felt more aware of myself, more grounded in my thinking, and more capable of making healthier choices. This book did not just give me insight, it gave me a new way to approach my relationships and, more importantly, myself.

A reason to hope: find joy, peace, and life within yourself. Melody shares how she became whole after a life of pain, neglect, and abuse. She learned from expert social scientists, victims of chemically dependent persons, and her personal life journey. Codependency is vast, sweeping, consuming, and insanity. The grip it has on numerous souls needs the care, concern, and competence of this masterpiece. Riveting solutions, diagnosis, and examples provide reassurance, confidence, and life skills to avail relief to those lost without an idea of where to start. Blaming others, being trapped in the cyclical codependent compulsion and obsession acts, or confused about how to deal with raging emotions can end with an investment of proper absorption in this subject matter. This resource coupled with therapy, 12 step, and self involvement can become a life saver to those wanting to become optimized.

This book was recommended by my therapist. I highly recommend it. My therapist diagnosed me with severe GAD, severe and extreme PTSD, and depression. I saw myself all through this book. The author writes about her own journey and true stories of others. She gives helpful tools and insights and suggestions.

I hate reading, but I could not put this down. Everyone needs to read this!!! This book changed my life!! Highly recommend!!!

She does not say things lightly or pull any punches. She has a strong distaste for codependency and addiction as afflictions it seems. But there is a lot of good mantras and self rules to take from this book.

Codependency, like people, comes in many forms... Mine was not from alcoholic parents, or alcoholic family members, or drug abuse, but something just as hurtful and deep... being sexually molested as a child. It's amazing to see how something can alter one's life, in ways we don't see, but feel and continue to feel as gown ups if we don't get the internal and emotional help we need when we face something as devastating and traumatic as a child. We carry it on to our relationships... the painful relationships we feel so sure that we are able to fix, because we feel it in ourselves to fix, yet we put off fixing ourselves. We choose to overlook our needs, or wants, our dreams trying to fulfill someone else's. We feel that if we are able to help someone else, that our internal fears and pain will go away, or at least like a pain killer does to the body... will mask it for the time being. I had two failed marriages - first one I was married to a man with OCD... severe. I felt that I would change this man, that I would be able to make a difference and it didn't, it just made me a very unhappy person, which drove me to a relationship with food, it was a relationship which filled me up, made me mentally content, or so I thought only to see that the only thing from that relationship with food which I gained was weight and I was miserable. I knew that was a relationship I needed to sever, so I began getting help from a counselor and started seeing my unhappy life from a different perspective, getting the help, helped me see that it was not so hard to get out of. Yet I went back to what felt comfortable... and soon after that I went into another relationship, with a alcoholic man which I saw at the time as being a "social drinker"... another "victim" which I felt I could help, I could cure, I could change. Although he is now a recovering alcoholic, he put me through the mental wringer - this too ended in divorce. And then... the married, "I will get a divorce... cheated on his wife with me" boyfriend... three years I was with him and three years I listened to the lies he told me when I would see texts from other women... I lived in constant denial - we would break up and we would get back together... it was always me who wanted to make it work. Two days ago was the last straw! I said NO MORE!!! Wake up Linda and stop living a Lie!! When I began seeing a counselor again a few months ago, this time with the yearning and longing to make a life change for the choices I make. My doctor suggested I read the book on codependency and I am three quarters through it. I've read so many eye opening moments. It is altering when you see that what you are going through you are not alone, and you begin to understand your worth, not by trying to change someone else's life, but by making the choice of taking control of yours! This book is helping my inner child grow up and see myself for the genuine and amazing person I am - I have so much to give myself! So much love, attention and respect! I have always looked for that in others, when really no one can give it to me if I don't give it to myself first! I have a new perspective on my life and the relationships I will allow in my life. Life is about choices... it's never too late to reevaluate and improve on oneself - this book has helped me open up my eyes to that! I am not closing them, and when I blink, I will reflect on the lessons I have learned from my failed relationships and my will to know the difference and to make a change for only better!

This book is the bible for overcoming people pleasing and your survival skills from your childhood

Very good book

O livro chegou duas semanas depois da data prevista mas veio tudo em ordem.

A lifeline when you think all is lost. Melody Beattie speaks lovingly, compellingly and reassuringly through her book offering guidance and hope to anyone who has experienced dysfunctional family life. She helps you to literally regain balance and sanity when one's world may be growing progressively crazier and difficult to cope with. When you feel alone, frightened, overwhelmed and lost...when you feel locked into isolation and believe yourself beyond human help...this book reaches out and lovingly leads you upward out of the dark abyss into sunshine...helping you understand powerful truths at integral levels and helping you discover that there is life beyond the painful chaos that has come to be your life.

Incredible book!

Recommended by a counselor. Although it does talk quite a bit about being a spouse of alcoholic, it doesn't take away from the pervasive theme of the book: if you're allowing others to affect you so deeply that you forget who you are - you're codependent. That's my take on codependency. I didn't particularly agree with some concepts of what it means to detach, some of them came across as selfish however I think if you're detaching with integrity, and not throwing others under the bus or lack consideration for doing the right thing then it's ok. This part of the book requires a bit of critical thinking to get through. Overall, I think it's an excellent book, easy to read and follow and is helpful in my journey. It is helping me to get back to my baseline of how I used to be, prior to certain events; it's actually making me feel very calm and compassionate toward myself. Good excercises too. It's thought provoking but not mentally draining. Not much repetition, new concepts in each chapter.

Me encanta to es un libro que puedo decir del material, el libro usa muchas referencias de AA y de adicciones pero aunque no te identifiques con eso te lo explica de manera fácil de entender con muchos ejemplos y ejercicios para reflejar y paso a paso xomo ir trbajando en la codependencia.