The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life's Final Moments

When my dad died during Covid, I spent a lot of time gathering books on the afterlife. Honestly, atleast in the beginning, I got obsessive about other experiences. While the world went on around us, arguing if Covid was real and friends and family, my mom and I sat in the ICU saying goodbye to my 61 year old healthy father who contracted Covid and died in two weeks. What ticked me off the most was that the hospital "protocol" wouldn't let us see him while he sat alone in the hospital for 2 weeks, completely alert, but the minute he died they let us suit up and go in his room. Its been two years and I am still angry about how it all went down. I came across Nurse Hadley a few years ago on TikTok. Because the internet is so good at spying on our innermost thoughts, it was likely fed to me as an afterlife genre account. What I found is that I liked her so much that I stuck around, learning about her work and patients. When her book came out, I grabbed it immediately. To start, the book was incredibly well written and edited. It had an actual voice to it and a beautiful rhythm of hope and loss, fear and joy, and in one moment you would be crying and in the next, sobered and contemplating. I think this book is for everyone - its not just about the afterlife, or really necessarily the afterlife at all - its about the final moments and how different they can be in the end, but also so much the same. Its about medical anomalies and also the struggle of finding your own work/life balance and passion. Nurse Hadley put into a book things we often talk about around here - how when we walked out of the hospital the sun was shining, people were driving, kids were playing, restaurants were full - how life goes on around you no matter the tragedy of each person. It was also something that continues to strike me personally on a daily basis. I think this book is well worth the read - no matter your own experience or feelings of the afterlife, or lack thereof, the stories are interesting, the book is excellent, and I, for one, hope she continues to publish many more books and offer, if anything, a bit of empathy for those around us.

"The In-Between" by Hadley Vlahos, RN is an absolute gem of a book that I cannot recommend highly enough. From the moment I started reading, I was completely engrossed in the story, unable to put it down until I had turned the final page. In less than 24 hours, I devoured the entire book, a testament to its gripping narrative and emotional depth. This book took me on a rollercoaster of emotions. I laughed out loud at the witty and heartfelt moments, and I cried multiple times as the poignant and touching scenes unfolded. Hadley Vlahos has a remarkable ability to connect with the reader on a deeply personal level, making the characters and their experiences feel incredibly real-time and relatable. The writing is both beautiful and accessible, drawing you into the world of the characters and making you care deeply about their journeys. The themes explored in the book are universal and timeless, touching on the complexities of life, love, loss, and the in-between moments that shape our existence. What sets "The In-Between" apart is its ability to stay with you long after you've finished reading. It's a book that I know I will return to again and again, finding new layers of meaning and emotion each time. Hadley Vlahos, RN has created a masterpiece that is not only a joy to read but also a powerful reminder of the human spirit's resilience and capacity for connection. In short, "The In-Between" is a must-read. It's a book that will make you laugh, cry, and reflect on the beauty and fragility of life. Five stars simply do not do it justice. This is a story that will stay with you forever.

When my father passed, I made a few mental notes about the things that he experienced and staff witnessed about crossing over and speaking to/reaching out for loved one's. All of these things reminded me of this book. I am beyond happy that I purchased it! The stories added insight to the things that I had not witnessed in my father's passing. It opened my eyes a bit more about things that I did see. I could identify with the doubts that family members have. Each story was well written. This was an easy read that provided me with some closure for my father. My father too was on hospice. The hospice staff were phenomenal! This book also gave me more respect for hospice, how they meet with so many patients, how they process the passing of their patients, and the compassion they offer not only for their patients, but their families too. My favorite story is about a homeless man. He didn't have blood relatives, but his friends in his homeless community were his family. It was a gentle reminder that all people matter and that we never know what people have experienced in their lives. Regardless of their current situation, we all deserve respect. This was a phenomenal read! I would recommend it to anyone. Thank you Hadley for sharing your experiences!

This summer a good friend‘s mother died. She was much too young to die, and it came so suddenly during an otherwise happy, healthy life that it left all of us in an emotional lurch. Even though this woman was not related to me by blood, part of me felt like I had lost a mother, myself. Some strange things that occurred during her passing prompted me to look for books on hospice and end of life care/experiences, and this book came up as a recommendation. I’m so glad I purchased it and read it. Nurse Hadley, the author of this book, became a hospice nurse almost by accident. But after reading her stories I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is her calling. She humanizes and comforts patients at the most vulnerable time of their lives. She provides empathy and humanity rather than the cold, clinical setting of a hospital. She advocates for things that make the patient comfortable – soft music, candles, loved ones— whatever would make that person feel most at home. Throughout the book she is always very respectful of peoples‘ religious beliefs or lack of religious beliefs, but interestingly, the end of life experience is usually much the same for everyone, no matter what the patient believes. Each story gripped me. I felt like I got to know these people personally, and I truly felt the author’s obvious care and love for each. As I read I felt like I got to know and love each or them as well. I actually found myself tearing up, crying, and then sobbing as I read some of the stories because they reminded me so much of the experiences that we had with Mom passing this summer. In some strange and inexplicable way, this book comforted me. I have never met this woman and probably never will, but her stories, far too similar each time to be coincidence, really brought me comfort. Each of these people at the end of life saw loved ones who had long since passed. One lady was absolutely cracking up with laughter in her bed, and when they asked her why she was laughing, she said… “Because my sister is right here. I’m just so glad to see her. I haven’t seen her in years and we are just laughing and talking about everything.” When the lady died, the corner of her room where she had indicated that her sister was had a flickering lamp that went out as she took her last breath. Again, and again, stories are shared about people who are near the end. Faces once contorted with pain and sadness become lighter. They smile. Even if their eyes are closed you can tell they see something beautiful. They are reunited with children who have died. With parents who have passed. With people they have missed, loved, longed for, at times for decades. In one case a widow is reunited with the love of her life, a spouse who passed decades ago in World War II in his 20s. She says that she is so excited— he’s finally here now and he says he’s not going to leave her ever again. He is going will stay with her in this room until tonight, and then it’s time to go. She dies smiling. One of the stories that touched me the most was about a homeless man. I felt ignorant for not realizing that homeless people could receive hospice, but they can. The nurse goes to the homeless camp every couple days to check on him, because that’s where he wants to be— surrounded by the people he considers family. It’s just really beautiful that no matter how insignificant society feels someone might be, every old person, every sick person, every homeless person, EVERY person… matters. This book helped me to realize that I don’t need to feel so badly about my friend’s Mom. I remember at the end she was smiling and talking to people, like those in this book. I could tell that she saw something that we didn’t. And then she frowned and said “No, not yet. I can’t leave them yet.“ And she hung on for a few more days, even though the doctors said she shouldn’t have had the strength to. In the end she passed peacefully with all of her children around her, holding her hands. They told her that they loved her, and it was ok to let go. She smiled then and took a peaceful breath. And then she was gone. But after reading this, I realize maybe she really isn’t gone from our lives. Maybe she has crossed over, but I have changed my perspective on death after reading this book. I truly do believe that our loved ones never leave us. I believe that they always look out for us. I believe they care about us and watch over us. I believe that they know about the families we have and the things we go through after they are no longer physically here. And I really do believe that when it is our time, they come back to get us with their arms outstretched, excited to see us again. This is a deeply moving book. It doesn’t force religion on you. It just recounts the experiences that this lady had in a very respectful way. It actually brought me a lot of comfort, and I’m so thankful that she took the time to share these stories. I really hope that she comes out with another book because I was so sorry when the book was over. I wanted to hear every story. I wanted to meet every patient. The experiences that she shared are each so precious and sacred in their own ways. Get this book. You won’t regret it. If you have someone you know who has recently lost a loved one, I think this might also be of comfort to them— I know it was for me. It’s one of the best books I’ve ever read. And I will be thinking about it long after closing the last page.

I love the idea, she is a caring person. I first saw her on YouTube and bought this because of that.

I love this book. It helped confirm a lot of my own feelings/beliefs about death, dying and what might come next. The writing is clear, easy to understand and heartfelt. The stories are believable, obviously true and well described. It reads like a good novel, though I can tell it's all true. I only wish it was longer. Hopefully, in a future life I can do this beautiful work.

July 28th 2023 marks a full year that my Great-Grandma had passed. Only she felt way more like a (second) mother. I had found Nurse Hadley- a Hospice nurse on TikTok prior to my Grandmas decline. It sparked my interest in learning more about Hospice but not enough. I hated thinking about Hospice and it was my least favorite thing to hear when a loved one was placed under their care. It made my heart cringe. Instant tears when Hospice was mentioned because it meant the time was ticking. My Grandma was placed under Hospice Palliative Care at the end of June. My biggest fear was coming true and I had to remain calm for my family, especially my Grandma. I wanted to spend every second with her that I could. I lived an hour away with my now husband and we shared one car and I was only bringing home $85 a week from a sandwich shop.. I would bring my then fiancé to work, sometimes a half hour from our apartment making the drive to Grandma an hour and a half long. I told my boss at the sub shop that I would need to stop working for the foreseeable future until everything was said and done. I knew I needed to soak in every. Little. Thing. So I drove an hour to an hour and a half every single day with the exception of one day. I would need to be back to pick up my fiancé by the end of his 8 hour shifts sometimes 10 and sometimes 12. No matter the amount of time that day, I spent it with Grandma. Things declined rapidly. I was feeding her ice cream sandwiches and giving her water one day. The next she couldn’t wake up or form coherent sentences. I ended up staying one evening at my Grandparents house in a camper in the yard. I told my fiancé I needed him to take the next day off. I couldn’t leave. We packed up and stayed in my parents RV at my Mimi & Papa’s house (where Grandma had been staying). We sat with her almost lifeless body and shared fond memories of our lives with her. We each took turns sitting in the chair next to her, holding her hand, kissing her head, and reminding her how loved she was. As the night went on she started this awful groaning and yelling. I was worried she was in pain and couldn’t stand to see her like that. I couldn’t comprehend what was happening or how we could help. My mom was once a hospice nurse and she told me it was okay. She was just having a family reunion with our passed on loved ones. I thought my mom had only told me this for comfort. My mom is a good mom and even at 23 often still protects my child-like heart. I accepted this as it gave me comfort to think like that but wasn’t totally sure I believed it. The next morning at 6:50 AM my Grandma passed away peacefully holding her sons hand. We got the phone call in the RV and all rushed in to say our goodbyes. My best friend was gone. In a way I felt like I was relieved because she wasn’t in pain anymore. She lived a long life (91 years) and passed away surrounded by some of the people who cared most about her. The hospice nurse came about an hour later and did the usual protocol. Listened to the heart for 2 minutes and called out the time of death. Later the kind nurse was comforting us and asked if I had any questions. I had mentioned the groaning the night before and asked if she was in pain. The nurse replied “oh no honey! She was definitely talking up a storm with your other loved ones who have passed on. Happens all the time!” I was shocked but again sort of assumed because I was young they were just trying to protect my feelings. They had previously left a booklet about the signs to look for when your loved one is dying. I took it and it sparked my interest. I read it and was always curios to know more. When I recently heard Nurse Hadley had a book about “The In-Between” I begged my husband to get it. I downloaded it to my Kindle and got to reading! I finished it July 27, 2023.. one night before the one year anniversary or my Grandmas passing. I found so much comfort and joy in reading nurse Hadley and her patients stories knowing my Grandma had a similar story to some of her patients. It made me feel so at peace that my grandma had such a peaceful passing. That she was seeing her parents, her siblings, her son Rickey. I know it was a reunion she waited many many years for. I felt at peace knowing that night she really wasn’t in pain. She was catching up with old friends in the in between and resting her soul in the real world for her big trip with them. “The In Between” was beautifully written by a wonderful nurse whom I’ve never met but reminded me a lot of my momma. A single mom of one child at a young age persuing a nursing career. This book has healed a little of my broken heart and I am grateful. ❤️

In her remarkable book, Nurse Hadley takes readers on an emotional rollercoaster, sharing her experiences as a new nurse (and as a single mother dating Chris) to an experienced nurse alongside the poignant stories of her patients. With an engaging and personable writing style, she effortlessly draws readers into the world of life, death, and patients' profound impact on her life. Each chapter of this book introduces a new patient (including her boyfriend's mom) and their unique story, allowing us to witness firsthand how people live and the process of how they die. Through these stories, Hadley skillfully offers profound life lessons that transcend the boundaries of the medical field, leaving readers with a wealth of insight into the human psyche and our relationship with mortality. What sets this book apart is Hadley's ability to blend her narratives with the significance gleaned from her patients' journeys. This parallel storytelling approach lends depth to history and allows readers to connect with Hadley profoundly. Whether you find yourself laughing, shedding tears, feeling awe-struck, or pausing to re-read passages, you'll quickly realize that Nurse Hadley's words have a transformative power beyond the pages. Nurse Hadley teaches the reader through storytelling as her patients teach her their life lessons. As a gifted writer, nurse, and YouTuber, Hadley captivates readers by challenging societal views on death. By sharing her experiences and the wisdom gained from her patients, she encourages readers to reflect on their beliefs and confront the inevitable reality of our mortality. Through storytelling, she gently guides us toward a greater understanding of death and helps us prepare for its profound impact on our lives and those we love. Nurse Hadley's book is a must-read for everyone. Whether you have personally experienced loss or are simply curious about the human experience of dying, this book will touch your heart and leave an indelible mark on your soul. It serves as a compass, guiding us through the uncharted waters of death and revealing answers we may not have known we were searching for. She also shows that some people are not who they seem. Ultimately, Nurse Hadley's words offer solace, enlightenment, and a renewed perspective on life's most profound questions. With its engaging storytelling and her wisdom from experience and skills, this book is a testament to the power of human connection and the importance of embracing life's final journey. I did not want this book to end. Please write more, Nurse Hadley. Pictures: 1: Hardcover front, 2 &3: Conclusion pages, and 4: Excellent tone in writing, 5: Rawness of Hadley's style.

The In-Between stopped me in my tracks. These true stories from hospice nurse Hadley Vlahos aren’t just moving... they’re soul-stirring. Each patient’s journey shows how universal, beautiful, and mysterious the end of life can be. The spiritual thread running through every story gave me goosebumps and a deep sense of peace. I was in awe of Hadley’s compassion and the quiet strength of her patients. Different backgrounds, same grace at the finish line. Calling this a “book” feels too small.. it’s a wake-up call to live with more love and less fear. Everyone should read The In-Between.

The book cover is stained with dirts and dusts; pages are turning moldy with marks. Pictures taken after I’ve wiped down the entire book. Not sure if it’s aging stock or second hand book.

Beautiful book. Comforting when dealing with grief. Hadley has written this from the heart and it had me crying all the way through.

I finished this book in one gulp this morning, the second it dropped. It is poignant, but more importantly, it is an approach to death that is almost disarming in it's gentleness without being patronizing. Hadley's experiences are my experiences, yours even, because they are so universally simple, and her emotions are human without the stories being emotionally overwhelming. As someone who hates books on death, as most folks do, this is the one to read, because you're not given direct answers to the big questions so much as little accounts from which you are very much free and even encouraged to draw your own conclusions. Whether you are in the midst of loss, or angry, or numb, this book presents a real possibility of beauty when death comes that most people cannot fathom exists. And it's all done in a very non-religious, factual way. This is a book that every human should read before they finish being human and one that will help even the most burdened lay down some of what they are carrying just as I did.

Als ex werker in de palliatieve zorg zijn deze momenten heel erg herkenbaar. De verhaal lijnen zijn inclusief de zuster zelf, voor wat achtergrond De stukken die geschreven zijn vanuit een situatie zijn rauw en accuraat De emoties zijn voelbaar en zij als zorgprofessional benadrukt het zijn van een mens in haar werk. Een must read!