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K**S
Easy, Relatable Reading.
As a therapist who works extensively with infidelity, I can definitely say that The Aftermath of Betrayal is a good book for someone who has been impacted by infidelity. I recommend it to clients because it isn't long, it has practical and kind advice, making you feel like you are not alone, and there are exercises at the end of discussions to help the Hurt partner collect their thoughts in a helpful way to aid moving forward. It doesn't have all the answers, that's not possible, everyone is a unique individual in the information they need, but this is definitely helpful and keeps it simple and practical.At approximately 80 Kindle pages The Aftermath of Betrayal isn't too long when you may well be in a traumatised or deeply hurt state of mind, including dealing with brain fog and lack of sleep.All the best moving forward. I hope this little book helps you.
G**I
Interesting Read, Helpful Insight about Feelings. Relieving
The book was great about taking blame off of the victim. The author consistently reminded the reader that what has happened is not the victim's fault, but in fact, it was the perpetrators fault. Sometimes it's easy to tell ourselves something, and not end up following that belief. Reading another person's experience can make it much easier to understand things and easier to believe in those things. The journal prompts at the end of the chapters will also get you thinking and help relive and get through moments. Even if you have researched betrayal trauma and have joined support groups, I still recommend reading this book. Even just having it on my phone gives me a reminder that I am on a path to healing. If I am breaking down or dealing with anxiety from fear and flashbacks, I am going to simply open the book and remember that this is not my fault and that I am on the path to recovery and healing. May anyone who reads this book find the peace of mind they are searching for. Be strong, and know you're not alone.
T**H
Necessity for those suffering betrayal trauma!
Short, concise, to the point with exact needs to help a person understand why we feel so crazed after discovering an affair, sexual additive behaviors, etc. of our spouses/sig. others. This does not explore reconciliation with the betrayer. But focuses on explaining the emotional trauma experienced by the betrayed and offers advice for how to recover. Knowing I wasn’t crazy and that my brain had been traumatized was very relieving.The 12 Chapters include Reality fragmentation, the protective fog of shock, circuit overload, emotional roller coaster, connecting the dots, my whole relationship is a lie, shame on who?, Stranger in the mirror, blocking it out, I feel like such a fool, is it my Fault?, Loss and grief. Whole book can be read in a few hours. Although doing the activities for healing she recommends in most chapters takes longer. Hope it helps you like it did me.
S**E
Insightful Resource For A Person Recovering From Betrayal
I gave this only 4 stars because most of the writing is geared toward people who are staying together after infidelity. My story is different and I felt the book a little lacking especially for those whose cheater is chosing to leave after exposing addiction and long time adultery. On the other hand, the journal prompts and the understanding of what happens to someone who has been betrayed was very helpful and encouraging. I still feel a little cheated with the book in that it seems to assume that I am in the process of working things out with the cheater. I was hoping it would give me more insight in how to move forward from their departure as well. An easy read, and very insightful on the gripping shatteredness that comes with betrayal. I will read it again and again particularly to complete the study and journal prompts.
N**S
Short to the point and validating
This was the first book I read following Dday and it was sooo validating. For the first time I realized everything I was feeling was normal and I wasn’t crazy. This book is very short and to the point. I think it’s a great first book following betrayal because it isn’t too overwhelming. It’s reassuring and validating which is needed early on.
R**S
Dont pass this short read up, you won't regret it.
Being almost 6 months post discovery, this book was a needed read. I have read one on creating boundaries already, but this one had exercises on how to work through and process what what going on inside myself. I read the whole thing in a day, broken up in time frames. Very easy to read through. The only thing that I wish, was that it kept going. I seemed like it abruptly came to the end, and certainly left me wanting more. Being written by a CSAT, it gave me the feeling of having actual therapy sessions, especially with the prompts at the end of each chapter.
M**J
what i needed to begin to move forward
Well written, comforting, challenging. Not one sided.I feel that the activities really helped me get an anchor so I wasn’t all over the place.
E**
Excellent resource for betrayed partners
Michelle Mays has clearly captured and expressed the experience of betrayed partners. I am a therapist and have worked with this population, and the categories put forth in this book are right on. Anyone in the throes of experiencing betrayal trauma, particularly at the beginning stages, will benefit from this book. Readers will not only feel understood, but will also gain understanding about themselves and their experience. The exercises throughout the book offer helpful and practical tools to help folks as they move through the early stages of recovery. I'm glad this resource is available for my clients and others who are seeking help and healing.
J**L
Helpful for developing caring and understanding
This book helped us to have compassion and understanding for each other through the process of re-evaluating our relationship. We decided to renew our vows and recommit to each other.
M**E
59 pages long... not a real book
I have been working my way through many of the books available on this subject. This “book” is only 59 pages long. It really is more of an introduction or pamphlet than a book. I would recommend anyone considering purchasing this book to order Stefanie Carnes’ books instead.
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