How to Succeed in Business Without Really Crying: Lessons From a Life in Comedy

I'm a huge fan of Carol Leifer, her books, her TV, and standup. I read books by almost every comedian when they come out. This is one of my favorites.I felt like she wasn't just trying to be funny and autobiographical (although both come through) but really give a guide to what it means to succeed in the area of your life that you love the most.I have highlights and notes throughout the book. Sometimes when you fall in love (with a career path) it's not all roses after that. She describes every hill and valley and what she did at each point along the way.Here are some of the things I personally learned from the book:A) LOVE WHAT YOU DO.This seems like BS. Of course you should love what you do.From an early age. Carol loved standup and comedy and she did everything she could to break into every aspect of the business.But it's not that easy. It's hard to love something when you are losing money, people are hating you for it. You're losing friends. You're feel like a failure. And everything is going wrong.But there's the say, "it takes ten years to become an overnight success". Or 40.B) CONNECT WITH PEOPLE WHO LOVE THE SAME THING YOU DO.Carol had her "tribe". She was friends with and learning from (and teaching): Paul Reiser, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, etc. She was growing up with this generation that became the best comedians. Ever. And she knew it at the time that these were the people who would drive her to success.C) LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE WHAT YOU DOI always listen to the advice of other writers and other people trying to build their careers on either writing, self-improvement, business, entertaining.I've learned so much in the past year from people who can constructively look at my stuff and tell me what they would do and how they've succeeded at getting the word out. I'm really thankful for all of these people.Most people offer destructive criticism. Criticism so bad and meaningless that they are automatically not in my "scene" even though on paper it would appear they were. Find the people in your scene and learn from them. Completely ignore the people who look good on paper but are useless to you and your improvement.And every chance you get, listen to the people in your scene. The ones that truly have your back. Let them do the talking. That's how you learn.D) READ THE HISTORY OF WHAT YOU DO.Carol describes how when she was a kid she would watch the episodes of Johnny Carson and other comedians. How she would always go to standup.In order to succeed you have to really explore every aspect of your career, dating back 100 years. I don't know if Carol went back that far but it seems like she did based on her knowledge of the industry.E) BE KIND TO PEOPLE WHO LOVE WHAT YOU DOWhen I first moved to New York City, my sister warned me, "Everyone will only want to meet you if they think you can do something for them".I don't know if this is true. But the first thing I think when I'm excited about meeting someone is what can I do for them. How can I promote them? Who can I introduce them to. What can I offer them that will deliver immediate value into their lives without being pushy?I don't do this in a selfish way but the reality is: the more value you deliver others, you get 10x back in return.It's very depressing on the path to improvement. Because so much of it is filled with failure.And failure stinks. No matter what the "cult of failure" tells you. It's no fun and I feel suicidal often when I fail.And most of the time people fail. Being kind to people who are depressed is often the best way to deliver the value that is needed most.F) PRACTICE DOING WHAT YOU LOVEIt doesn't matter what you do. Do it every day. It doesn't matter what you do, do things related to it as much as possible.I was really impressed by one thing Stephen Wright said to Carol when she was starting out."Go on the stage EVERY DAY for three years" and then you can call yourself a comedian. Until then, don't complain about bad days or whatever.That's dedication. That's practice. So many people give up too quickly and then they are suck, in love, but with no ability to do what they love.G) WATCH VIDEOS OF PEOPLE DOING WHAT YOU LOVE.If you can't get on the stage every day doing what you love, the good thing is, we have YouTube now.I can watch every comedian I want, every day.H) OUTSOURCE THE THINGS YOU DON'T LOVE.It's hard to have the time to do everything in the field you love. For instance, if you're a chef, you don't just cook. You have to network with other chefs. You have to find places to cook and show off. Maybe you want to do media appearances. Or write about cooking.There's an entire business to being a chef. It's not about making the best dish ever. It's about building an entire business around yourself.And you can't do everything. Maybe you don't have 20 minutes to run to the post office to mail you cookbook to the Food Channel executive who asked for it.Assistants cost money. But make a list of things this month that you'd rather not be doing for yourself. See if there's a way you can outsource it as cheaply as possible.Even if at first it's too much for you, eventually it won't be and you'll be well prepared to outsource.I) ANALYZE MISTAKESMy 12 year old gets all As in school. But when we play tennis, sometimes she misses. She gets disappointed."This is the real world. People make mistakes." And we try to figure out what she was doing wrong.Carol mentions how aware she is of the audience in every second of her standup. This way, she can think later about the slightest nuances in her performance that made people laugh, or brought about silence.It's this level of expertise that you get by analyzing the bad days even more than the good ones.J) RESTYou can't do one thing all day, all week, all month, for the rest of your life. You have to mix it up.Meet new people, read books about other things, spend time with family and friends. Maybe travel. Have new experiences.Not just so that you can rest. Who cares about rest!Neuron A, meet Neuron B. Oh! You never met before. Now I just introduced you.In the background your brain is always combining the new experiences with the old experiences and if you are mastering your craft your brain will be combining ideas without you even thinking about it.When you get back to doing whatever it is you do, you done do it better.Carol mentioned how her comedy (in particular, her writing on Seinfeld) when she took experiences in her life that had nothing to do with comedy and brought them into her writing or into her act.You have to expose yourself to the disease of life to build the antibodies that make you a better writer, performer, creator or whatever it is you love.K) DON'T HOLD GRUDGES.Carol mentions how she was rejected when she tried to be a writer for "The Larry Sanders Show". But by not holding a grudge, by being friendly with Garry Shandling afterwards, she later on got a job there.I see this every day in professional life: people get angry, hold grudges, and then lose opportunities.Every grudge you hold is a lost future opportunity.L) THE PUSHEvery day, think of what else you can do with the work you are most proud of.Carol didn't just do standup. She wrote for TV. She produce and starred in TV . She writes for award shows. And on and on.You have to push in every direction. You can't just define your career as "standup comic". You have to make a bigger stage for yourself: "comedy" and then make sure you cover every part of that stage.M) THE SEASON OF FAILURE IS WHEN YOU SOW THE SEEDS OF SUCCESS.Always view down time, or failure, or mistakes, or periods where you feel everything is over or getting worse, as the perfect opportunity to learn, to read, to get wiser, to produce more, to network more, to connect more with the people who love what you do and so on.This is letter "M". Letters "A-L" are the seeds of success. Whenever you are in the season of failure, repeat "A-L".Persistence is the repeat.Just stop overthinking it. Go back to A-L. Fall in love. And in the entire universe, you will never find someone more worthy of love than yourself.Be in love with yourself, with the process, with the seeds, and the universe will respond with love back to you.Once again, I highly recommend this wonderful book. I will be rereading it.

I love Carol Leifer and think she's such a talented comedian. But I wish this book had been much more revealing about the specifics of the comedy world. I does have several personal anecdotes about her professional trajectory, but it's mostly a very generic template for finding "a job" in general. I understand that as a writer, she wants to make it as accessible as possible, going for the mainstream, but she erred (I think) the way all popular art errs, when instead of going with her strengths (her knowledge of the behind the scenes stories of the comedians' life: material being stolen, rivalries between comedians, dumb TV execs, the drugs, the drinking, the hard work of writing material, the drive to be onstage, the jealousy of artists towards others in their field getting the "breaks", her opinion of those who are less talented and end up making the most money, who was a "natural" and who made it by virtue of hard work...), she wrote quite generically about job hunting. I liked it, but wanted to love it.

Carol Leifer has always been one of my favorite funniest people of all time, and her most recent book, HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY CRYING is a wonderful mix of different nuggets dealing with (a)finding a job (including basic common sense- such as bathing, dressing appropriately and not overdoing perfume or cologne- oy!) (b)going after one's passion when it comes to deciding on/pursuing a profession and (c)great 'nuggets' of autobiographical experiences that follow Ms. Leifer on her way up the hilariously funny ladder of success. The book is very entertaining and an extremely fast read--Learning about the author's background (for example, she met fellow talent/comic, Paul Reiser, who was a year ahead of her, in college)allows the reader to see how talent---and friendship---really do triumph. (To this author's great credit, she clearly states that KNOWING someone can be a major 'leg up' in getting an interview.) There are many famous, talented people mentioned in the book (not to name drop, but to let the reader know about the author's life as a stand-up comedienne, as a performer, as a television writer and as an author.) Since I'm not a young kid starting out, however, I need to mention that the most amazing people in this book--the ones who 'set the bar' for supportive, loving parenting, were Carol's parents. Without wanting to give anything away, when I came to a particular part of the story, where Carol had to choose just one path, I was shocked at the advice she received from her parents. I don't know if I'd have been able to do the same. (They should be national role models for us all!) that being said, I have one minor disagreement with Ms. Leifer- I do not believe in unpaid internships- at least, not when a person has finished college and will have school loan debt that hits the stratosphere waiting to be repaid---My one piece of advice would be- unpaid internship? DO IT WHILE YOU ARE STILL IN SCHOOL! (I hope my kids have heard that, btw!) It's a minor point, and a point of view from a parent, not an idealistic, invincible young person preparing to follow their passion- The book truly is a fun read that shares Carol's lessons learned (then and now.) I think young people---and their parents---will all gain insight from this book (at a time when finding jobs is extremely difficult!) Who is wise? S/he who learns from the lessons of Carol Leifer!

I absolutely loved Carol Leifer's book "How To Suceed in Business Without Really Crying" As a fellow comic I've always been a fan of her hilarious stand-up and this book is no exception. Funny. Inspiring and a great easy read. Whether you are a comedian or a fan of comedy, this book will make you LOL and inspire you to be your best. Thanks Carol. Hope to share the stage with you soon.~Scott WoodMr. Punchline

Carol Leifer has written an inspirational gem of a book that is fun and easy to read. I was enjoying this book so much I was sad to see if end. stayed up a little later the last few nights because I just did not want to put it down. Carol switches from one life experience to another with a flawless command of storytelling and motivational speaking often in the same paragraph. Each chapter is an essay style-story broken down so clearly that you are pulled in right away and there is no getting out until you close the book. The valuable advice in the book can easily transpose over into any career you are in. As someone who writes while having a day job, I felt Carol's book was a great dose of reassuring reality that I really needed. This is the best book I have read in many years. Fans of comedy and show business in general will not be disappointed.

Carol Leifer for me is first a comedian. She was a Seinfeld writer, and has written for many other shows. I find her humour witty, smart and everlasting. Shes been in the biz for about 40 years and I think this book was a labour of love. A self-help "Don't do what I do" "save yourself some grief" kind of book that I believe hits the mark.A number of her suggestions are things we ought to know but often overlook.. I for one appreciate the reminders. Really happy to see a good comedian making it long term. Carol Leifer is a kind, caring human being who offers up her own stumbles as a cautionary tale, to help those just starting out, or re-inventing themselves to avoid some, if not all, the possible faux pas... with wit and charm to boot!A quick and cheeky read!

Lots of name dropping which was kind of annoying. Not that funny either which is surprising. Interesting look into the life of a comedian though and very good incites into getting and holding a job.

40 per cent through the book ... has entertaining points and a lot of good advice for the job seeker (regardless of your chosen profession).