How To Start A Conversation And Make Friends: Revised And Updated

I am a pastor who has a gift of gab and a number of friends, some of them close. My sister (who is the ultimate friendly person) and I were raised by parents who knew how to converse well, so we picked up these skills in a natural setting. We are both real schmoozers. My wife is also highly relational. So, unlike many self-help book reviewers, I am reviewing from a different perspective: I did not read this book for personal growth reasons (I do read books on other subjects to address my weak spots, however), but to try to help instruct others who struggle here. For many years, I have dealt with folks who wanted to learn to converse and make friends. When one is brought up with those skills, it becomes difficult to enumerate exactly what it is we talkers do. When I read, "How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends," I said to myself, "Yep. This is a lot of what we (and many other people strong in this area) do." Gabor has organized and put into outline form the most basic principles of conversation and friendship initiation. And that is a whole lot more helpful than saying, "I don't know. We just do it!" Gabor also allows for differing personalities and relational styles. Although we may have to leave our comfort zone (in time, change becomes comfortable), we need to be who we are and converse with others based upon who they are. Please understand that this book is limited in its scope. It can help people initiate friendships, but it does not direct one toward relational depth. This book can help folks make a number of casual friends but not necessarily close friends. For deeper communication, I suggest William Backus' book, "Telling Each Other the Truth," a volume that addresses matters like conflict resolution, honesty, etc. Gabor's book is not really intended to guide you into relational depth. It does a great job for its intent: helping you chat better and initiate the early stages of friendship. For some folks, their instincts may kick in at that point. Others will need to study further. The other limitation of this book (and there is no way to avoid it) is that the directives can be overwhelming because of their sheer volume. My advice is to choose a few areas to work on. Once those practices are incorporated and become second nature, then it is time to add a few more. In a sense, the book is arranged in order of importance, with the early chapters being the most crucial to master. I recommend starting at the beginning. In addition to Gabor's insights, I suggest hanging around and imitating those who seem to have it together in these departments. There is nothing quite like seeing conversation in action and then telling oneself to "go and do likewise." It may seem awkward at first, but, in time, it can become second nature. Some folks (who have difficulty choosing the right words) might even consider practicing a conversation in an empty room, almost memorizing a script. On quotable section reads, "Most shy people take the passive role when it comes to starting conversation. They wait and wait and wait, hoping someone will come along and start a conversation with them..." He emphasizes that communication consists mostly of body language, then tone or voice, and, lastly, words. Here is some simplistic but crucial advice, "Use plenty of eye contact, smile, and, above all, keep your arms uncrossed and your hands away from your face." The book consists of 15 chapters divided into 4 sections. The sections are: Starting Your Conversation with Confidence. Continuing Your Conversation with Wit and Charm, Ending Your Conversation with a Great Impression, and Boosting Your Conversation to the Next Level. The last chapter lists his 50 main points, some of which include, "Be the first to say hello, Introduce yourself to others, Show others you are listening by restating their comments, and Beware of open and closed body language." This book is not rocket science (though filled with details), but it is a good place to start. Although I consider myself strong in the conversation department, I admit that I did pick up a pointer or two. Go for it.

While I found a lot of the book to be repetitive, repetition is what make you remember things. All my life I have frowned...well, not frowned, but my facial muscles in their relaxed state do make it look like I'm frowning. I never realized how much that affects how others view me...and how it affects their attitude around me. Just by adding a little upward tension in in my cheek area, it makes my face look so much more like I'm in a good mood, and I noticed the first day that I tried this the instant reaction this had on others. So now I have to remember to do this constantly (aw, my aching face!), but it definitely works, and maybe one day my muscles won't hurt from trying to look pleasant all the time. This is a weird perspective, isn't it? LOL, I know, but to me it's even weirder that I have gone through my entire life not realizing that because people THINK I'm frowning that it has turned them off from wanting to interact with me. Sore cheeks are a small price to pay. Hopefully this will help someone else in a similar situation. =) Other than that, yes he has much more to say and I have tried applying some of it. The parts I try do seem to work. Again, repetition is key. I was not crazy about the social media sections of the book, but not because he was off the mark...more because it was not what I was looking for. I didn't knock any stars off for that, as I did find the book very helpful, and can't expect everything in every book I read to apply to my current needs.

This book takes the reader through a step-by-step process leaving one feeling confident in their conversation abilities. Includes ideas for conversation starters, topics to keep it going, and where and when to do what!

I am surprised by some of the reviews suggesting that this book is not very good. I have read at least ten books of this type and this one is by far the best. Don't be deceived by its simplicity and easy to read form: it contains a lot of information including many important subtleties that other books lack, including many books twice as long. The book does exactly what it says in the title: it takes the reader through the process of how to start conversations and make friends. It doesn't make blanket statements like other books do, that in the real world could be disastrous. He explains, in simple but true and useful terms, how conversations start, why some ways of starting a conversation are more risky than others, how to continue a conversation, and so on. The one useful tip that I got from another book rather than this one was the idea of preparing a pithy, witty introductory statement about yourself. (That was from How to Work a Room, Revised Edition: Your Essential Guide to Savvy Socializing ) How To Start A Conversation And Make Friends is thoughtful, gentle, and actually teaches you step-by-step how to do what it says in the title. Highly recommended.

This book would be helpful for someone who is scared to approach people, but I found that it had no information that wasn't common sense. I know about body language and the importance of it, and I know how to talk and how to listen and to listen for gems your friend mentions, and bringing them up later in the conversation. For me, there was nothing new, but for a timid person, I think this would be a helpful read.

Now I can talk to people.

Absolutely love it . Definitely buy from this company again . Thank you very much, Emanuel .

القراءة فيه سلسة وغير معقدة واللغة الانجليزية فيه مفهومة جدا . اساسا اشتريت الكتاب لاقرأ باللغة الالانجليزية واحتاج ان تكون اللغة مفهومة بالنسبة لي وغير معقدة. اضافة للمادة تناقش التواصل

If you are not good at connecting with people this is the book to get started.

Un « must-have » a avoir dans sa bibliothèque absolument

Great tool all should read it